My face was hurting very badly, my heart was hurting even more, all credit goes to my licentious parents and egregious people out there in the society. The world for me was like a despot, on whose tunes I was dancing. I was denigrated everywhere, and all the false accusations on me were slowly making me furious.
And then came the summit, the point beyond which I was not able to go, not even a single step. My humiliation reached to such a level that my hope ran away in search of hope. That night I was not able to close my eyes, I was afraid to go to sleep, because I knew I can’t wake up the next day.
A small little flame of anxiety which was burning from long, now turned into a big conflagration. And in the next moment I found myself lost in a big room, where I was able to see everyone, including my parents. A dirge was playing in the background, where exactly, I didn’t know. All those who maligned me in my life were present in that room, standing with their head down, pleading to me for their life.
I stabbed everyone in that room with a knife, which was In my hand, it was an impetuous decision on my part. As I walked out of that room, I felt like I killed some part of myself, a feeling of sadness ran through my mind. When I was just wandering around with the knife, I tried to calm down.
There was no one around there, it seemed as if I killed them all, not a single person came into the view of my eyes. I didn’t knew what to do, I was feeling caged in that big open world, with no one around. I was caged by my loneliness. And to exacerbate the situation, I had nothing to do, I was bored. The only thing which kept me away from my loneliness was my imagination, I started imagining people in my mind.
My defunct mind came back to action, every single cell was excited to express. It dreamt of a world with people, their maledictions, their munificence. A world which was real only in my imagination. I created all types of people in my mind, the good ones, the bad ones and myself. My earlier world was alive again, in exactly the same way. I was maligned again by different people inside my mind’s world, even my parents behaved the same as before, I was again left bereft.
I decided to kill each of my mind’s character, to again go into the world of solitude, which was real as i thought. After destroying my imagination, I was again back in that room, with the dead bodies lying in front of me, and the knife covered with blood, was in my hand. I was filled with regret, so much that I was not able to stand on my feet. I was feeling contrite, I wanted to kill myself, and I did.
In the next morning I woke up from my sleep, with a remembrance of that dream. The morning of which I was afraid of finally arrived. I stood up and walked down to the living room, my parents started scolding. As I went outside people kept throwing maledictions at me, everything was same as before.
Just one difference though, I was wearing a smile on my face, the anxiety which lived earlier on my face was thrashed by my silent smile, that smile displayed alacrity and a little satisfaction, as I was now able to comprehend the world better.
That one dream of killing all, and then attaining solitude, and then again imagining that life in a dream, and then again killing that imagination to comeback to solitude again, that was the dream which made me realize, that life is what you imagine it to be, your perspective and reaction towards people will define your life. And that was the reason for my smile, which never left me, even in the hardest of times.