I too became selfish…

I was walking intrepidly, for others it might not be an audacious attempt, but for me it was. It is extremely scary for some to escape the serenity and enter a world of total chaos.
As I entered the room full of humans, the selfish ones, i was terrified, they were looking exactly like me, but were a lot different. Their nefariousness was shining on their faces, as if it was ready to grab my breath and knock me unconscious.
I went towards the most silent corner of the room, I knew that silence was the only one who understood me. But that maligning group of people snatched my silence away, they tried to interact with me.
At first I tried to explore my deeply buried gregariousness, but their confronting eyes thrashed my courage to the bottom. They pointed out everything wrong about me, my cloths, my looks, my colour, my inability to be presentable among elite groups, which they thought they belonged to.
The hardest part was searching a human amongst humans, who actually thinks of me as worth knowing, one who can justify my belief on myself, that I am able and equally valuable as they are. But what kind of self belief was that?
A belief doesn’t requires justification from others I realized.
I slowly walked out of the room, nobody noticed.
They all were still there, were looking for another loser to release their insecurity.
But I left one thing in that room, I knew now that it belonged there, among those so called well mannered people. It was my nescience that found a home in them,at least some thing reached where it belonged, all I now needed was to know where I belonged.
I never bothered about my belief anymore, I knew that no justification is required for your own self belief, for the first time I felt that I belong here, in this imperfect yet perfect world..
I didn’t even missed my nescience , which was with me for a long time, yes now I was selfish too..

0 thoughts on “I too became selfish…”

  1. iamioana says:

    Did you become? I think we are made like this, but in a good way. We supposed to be…but as humans we don t like limits and we go to far. Like this we …become…more then selfish…more then alone. It is a fight we have to do every day to stay human. 😉

    1. shreyans says:

      yes we are, but generally i tend to avoid being selfish…thank you for reading…it is a pleasure to read your comments..

  2. revengestar says:

    isn’t this post about social anxiety somehow?

    1. shreyans says:

      Yes, but if the society contains such judgemental people then social anxiety will definitely be there

      1. revengestar says:

        yeah, does make sense if you put it this way

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